英語作文:Challenging the Himalayas

Challenging the Himalayas

Two years ago， it is reported that due to storm and avalanche， the Shan Ying Association of Beijing University lost 4 members while challenging the Himalayas。 All the 4 members are amateurish mountaineers， still on campus。 The tragic incident soon brought a heated argument in the media。

Some people， mainly represented by youngsters， justify their courage and determination， whereas quite many others condemn their adventure and hastiness。 The focus of the two sides is whether their sacrifice makes sense。 As for me， apart from the sorrow， they give us courage and strength。 Given the chance， I am sure to take part in the exploration。

Being a special kind of sports， mountaineering requires strong constitution and tough mind。 Not only should they be physically fit for the bitter environment， but also should they learn various techniques for climbing and survival。 What's more， they're not supposed to fulfill the goal without courage and bravery， which tell mountaineering apart from other outdoor activities。 Equipped with a belief to success as well as advanced climbing gears， they are on the move。

Movies named "Apollo the 13th" or "Vertical Limit" told us that spectacular sights can't be seen without firm will and desperate efforts。 To unfold the fabulous scene， you may have to take the exhausting trip to the camp， holding an upbeat morale;you may have to strive for survival in the storm， grasping teammate's hand; you may have to smooth away whatever obstacles got in your way， your destination is the peak of the mountain。This was what they had experienced when ascending。 Had they conquered the peak， what a spectacle they would have seen:nothing can be compared with the unprecedented feeling that they are at the top of the world。 Clouds are haunting around them; the sunlight is beaming from the bottom of the sky。 So is the place， where even eagles surrender， the only place not disturbed by prosperity。 Granted that they fail to make the history，their spirit will never die。

Today， mountain climbing is attached to another meaning:it has become the symbol of a nation's vitality。 Peaking a mountain is more than breaking a record， it's the proof of a generation's courage and bravery， and the denial of it will sink the pride of their being fearless and the aspiration for their dreams。

On the other hand， adventure， to some extent， means risk。Avalanche being unpredictable even to sophisticated mountaineers， no one could expect the tragedy。 What we can do is to remember the young heroes。 It was them who pursued their dreams bravely。 It was them who inspired us to be fearless of any difficulties。

簡 評

這是一次搏擊，還是徒然的犧牲?生命誠然寶貴，但生命所傳載的精神更加偉大。他們的夢想是站在至高處，得知世界的奇妙；縱然肉體衰亡了，但他們的`精神卻為歷史寫下了新的篇章。

陳振航同學落筆有激情，多處採用了煽情描寫，如一段描述登山者實現夢想的文字“Clouds are haunting around them；the sunlight is beaming from the bottom“the sky．So is the place，where even eagles surrender，the only place not disturbed by prospemty．Granted that they fail to make the history，their spirit will never die．”

但作為一篇論説文，文章的説理性不強，論述缺少層次感。文章處處流露出筆者對登山運動的熱愛和嚮往，文章描寫過於煽情，這就削弱了文章的説理力度，打破了論説文的寫作模式，更像是一篇隨筆散文。論説文的語言應該精練、扼要、有理、有力，煽情文字不宜過多。

在寫作技巧方面，論説文要求層次清晰、條理分明。可以使用一些關聯詞，如tobeginwith，then，next，at last等，使文章的論述更清晰，增強文章的層次感。