作文批改示例

作文批改評語範例字 跡 A、本子清秀、整潔，猶如海濱小城的街道一樣，找不到一點髒……端端正正的字跡，讓人看了真舒服……你的字像印的一樣漂亮……很慚愧，我字沒有你寫的好看…… B、隨隨便便，字哪能不像貓掏的似的.……字不在格子中間，當然看起來不順眼……你的字東倒西歪，是不是今天風太大，才刮成這樣的……我不相信你的字寫不好，永遠就這麼潦草……認真耐心地寫，你會寫的比我還要棒…… 內 容 A、這般豐富的內容，簡直和作家寫出來的差不多呀……你的習作有血有肉，讀起來真是一大享受……你的作文內容具體，我讀的十分過癮……你平時肯定愛看作文書，才寫出這麼多字…… B、乾巴巴的內容如同白開水，一點味道也沒有，多加些優美的詞句就好喝了……不如劉維維字數多(或者舉其他差生名字)，你不覺得有點難為情嗎……你的作文像90歲老太太的嘴，乾癟空洞，講話直漏風……

air pollution(標題大寫)

As depicted in the picture, large cloulds (clouds)of smoke from chimneys cover the sky. Obviously, chimneys in cities caused a lot of pollution; the air is nearly suffocating. It can be seen that the symbolic meaning the picture conveys deep (前面加be動詞，否則句子不通順)and profound. We thereby can conclude that coal burning has brought about great hazards to the city.

Firstly, factories were usually placed (用lie的相關形式，usually lie)in the center of cities, among (between)residential and businearea. Even people lived near location of factories. (刪掉)If functions of different areas of city are confused, smoke, which contains of deleterious gases, will continue to be a public trouble. In addition, the number of such chimneys has a lot to do with the harm. (不通順)That is partly explained by the fact that nearly every block has several chimneys for heating system, which makes the whole city immersed in thick smoke. Last and the most important one, respiratory diseases have been reported to be rising and old people dying of the wirsening(刪掉)air pollution.

Confronted with this problem, we should find several solution(複數)to it. On one hand, factories with chimneys should be moved out of the center of the city and(用or)it(刪掉)made sure the waste gases are at least not bad. For another, other ways of heating should be developed to stop using coal. Only by doing so, can we kill two birds with one stone.

點評：12分

該文基本完成了試題任務，能夠按照試題的原意進行分析陳述，包含了一些內容觀點，使用了較為豐富的語法結構與詞彙，前後銜接還算連貫。

但本文也存在一些不足之處，表現比較明顯的是語法錯誤與時態錯誤，外加一些句子的被動形式，當然，這也是考試作文的難點與易錯點，需要細心留意。另外，有些句子讀起來比較晦澀，詞彙變換方面也有一些錯誤，如果能在此方面多下功夫並留心細心，相信你能寫出一篇不錯的考研作文。

考研作文的練習是一個不斷改正的過程，多多努力，考試即將來臨，加油哦